Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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