You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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