I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
