Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
