allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
