Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
