LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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