His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
where does the pee come out of this thing
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
