Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
