my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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