and i looked up. we had an audience...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
