quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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