can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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