at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize