do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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