Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
