Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
