While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
