I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
