thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
