Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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