Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
