i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
