your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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