me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this will be a night to untag.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
