quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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