you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
