You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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