well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
