she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
