That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
