"it" just moved
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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