Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
