that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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