Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
