dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
