I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
