Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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