I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
