Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
