Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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