Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize