you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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