have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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