I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
