My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
