just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
