Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
