if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
