She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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