with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
