The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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