if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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