So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
