is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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