why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
