Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just want to make out with him forever
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
