Got a toothbrush?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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