Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
