She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
