that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize