"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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