i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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