i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize